There is a clique saying that time heals all wounds but it is the last thing we want to hear when we are in pain.  I've just realized though that in the past year and a half I have experienced to incredible heartbreaks and two smaller ones.  Now, in the beginning of 2012 I'm hopeful and I've healed.  Time is amazing.

  I haven't really written in a while but for some reason, probably just out of major procrastination efforts due to the end of the year blues, I'm here...my escape.  I can't believe this year is almost over, it certainly was nothing like I thought it was going to be.  Looking back I don't really have much to show for the past two semesters, but I do have a few more life lessons and a reality check with a dose of a better outlook on life.

Friends. The family we choose for ourselves...people who enter our lives and change us for the better.  I have a tendency to be friends with people with the idea that I can help them, somehow show them positivity, faith, or something. I'm not exactly sure why I'm like this. Perhaps because I want to make others happy, to help them find what their passion is in life, and to then have the confidence to live out loud.  Or maybe I'm just a typical Pisces who is extremely empathetic. 

This has proved to be a tragic flaw of mine at times, becoming so enthralled in another human being that I myself get lost or forget what my own passions are.  I think I've finally broken the spell...or in reality life has caused me to go through some tough situations in order to open my eyes. First, being in a relationship that isn't giving you something in return isn't worth it, whether romantic or philia. Saying this a year ago would have made me feel uncomfortable, I would have felt selfish but in reality it isn't.  It's okay to be picky about those who you become close to.

"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

If a friendship isn't pushing you to reach your goals, challenging you to become a better person, or making you happy is it really worth it? If your soul isn't being 'fed' then how to you expect to give your all in life?  I had learned from a young age that some people, even if they are family, do not need to stay in your lives.  If they are causing you pain you must learn to let them go and be okay with your decision. 

If you think you are in love with someone who doesn't return the feelings in the same way you do then perhaps you should reexamine the relationship.  There are times where I've thought I had feelings for people that only hurt my personal growth.  I'm not saying that they meant to hurt me or that my friendship with them was pointless because as a result I've learned what I want and what I don't want when it comes to the not so elusive Prince Charming.  They say opposites attract but I'm not so sure I believe it. Perhaps the mystery draws us in, we wish to see the world from a different view but if their opinions, beliefs, and passions are completely opposite of ours how much room is there for love to grow?

Friends who are always there for you are those who you should treat like family.  Those who support you through everything, who take the time to listen and to share.  Some people you will just never be able to get close to...they'll have walls that they will never let fall.  Embrace those who trust you enough to let you see their souls, their hopes, secrets, fears, and beauty.  Those who are willing to bare their souls are willing to accept your past, mistakes, and shortcomings without judgement because they are able to acknowledge that they've been there too.

My close friends are my family...they are the reason why I can face each day with a smile.  They're able to make me laugh and know how to comfort me when I cry.  They are there through thick and thin, understand my strange sense of humor, and aren't afraid of my determined, passionate, impatient, outspoken self.  Without them I would break under the craziness of college. 

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

"I beg you...to have patience with everything unresolved as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.  Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer..."

"She's just the way she is, but no one's told her that's OK..."

I have found out on my own that not all boys will hurt you but I never want my daughter to have to figure out this on her own. Some things you just shouldn't have to learn on your own.